I believe in Santa Clause

Earlier this month, I saw a tweet on Twitter that made me cranky. It was something to the effect of "Now that you're an adult and you know Santa's not real, come and party." Some people think that deceiving your children about Santa is wrong. Some think Santa is a silly children's myth.

I responded to the tweet that the individual was wrong, but haven't elaborated further. Santa IS real. And here's the proof.

First, you have to take a bit of a trip back in time. I found out the "truth" when I was 5 years old. Considering I have an 11 year old and two 8 year olds that are still excited about Santa, I have to say that's too early to find out. However, my mother explained to me that Santa Clause did exist and that his spirit lives on through other people's good will.

You see, in this my mother is brilliant and she was 100% spot on. 

Second, you have to have a bit of a history lesson. The Wikipedia article on Santa is fascinating. Saint Nicholas was a 4th century Greek Bishop who was famous for giving gifts to the poor. Interestingly enough, some of our Yule time traditions can be perhaps traced back to Odin, a pagan god who would place gifts or candy in children's shoes left by the fireplace. In other words, the practice of giving and exchanging gifts has been going on along time around this time of year, in some cases pre-dating Christianity reaching Germanic cultures.

Interestingly enough, Christmas was banned by the Protestants in England in the 16th century. And yet Saint Nicholas is a patron Saint - although according to the article it was the influence of paganism traditions and a Roman Catholic saint so that the tradition was seen as Roman Catholic and/or pagan. Because of the similarities between Santa Claus and Odin, some have commented that Santa is actually a pagan concept.

And here's where it all goes a bit crazy for me - the concept of gift giving around this time of year is not unique to any particular culture, religion or region. 

So back to Santa being real. 

I've seen mathematical calculation showing that it's physically impossible for Santa to make his rounds given the distance he has to travel and amount of time he has to do it. And yet he does. And the simple answer to how he does it is - Magic.

I'm not talking about the type of magic that exists to stop time, speed up the harvest, or teleport anyone. I'm talking about the kind of magic that John Lennon had. The kind of magic that Martin Luther King had. The kind of magic that exists in some people to inspire others. The kind of magic that makes other people afraid. The ability to inspire us to help our fellow humanity. The ability to inspire us to give.

The magic of Santa Claus is to inspire us to give gifts to our love ones, to feast with them, to spend time with them, to slow down. Santa's magic is inspiring millions of parents - MILLIONS - world wide to stay up late and fill their stockings, put presents under the tree, and eat cookies.

So - if Santa is not real - than how do millions of children wake up Christmas morning to toys, smiles and laughter? He is real. He has magic. I'm not sure what to call his magic, but I suspect that it is love.

 

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Hello Teenage Years -

My oldest daughter turns 13 in about 3 hours. 

TEENAGER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

However, I'm not terribly worried about this particular teenager. I was originally going to post about how great she is but then I remembered my wife already did a great article on her blog a few weeks ago.

You can read that post, and then come back. I'll wait.

Instead, I reflected a little bit today on 13 years of being a parent and the conclusion I've come to is that it is the easiest job in the world to describe how to be a good parent. It's the hardest thing in the world to execute on effectively.

The simplest definition I've come to for being a good parent is: Giving your child a healthy, loving environment in which they can grow to be their own person.

It sounds so incredibly easy, but it is so incredibly difficult. Kate is writing an interesting 7 point series on parenting. In particular I enjoy the article on genetics as one of the more significant things I've found is that children are who they are - for good, bad, or otherwise - and it's our job as parents to figure out the right way to help them be the best they can be with their particular gifts and quirks.

Why is it so hard, then, if the definition is so simple? Life. Being Human.

How does one give themselves totally over to parenting without losing their own personal identities, hobbies, interests, etc.? Throw into the mix the demands of career advancement, employment, relationships with friends, and family you can get pulled in any direction any time.

I've been a father now for 13 years and I still feel every day I am learning. I'm grateful for an intelligent wife with a psychology background as I think that has accelerated my ability to understand and relate to children more completely. 

Lastly, I think there's a general lack of recognition for being a good parent. There's no "Parent of the Year Award". No boss to come say "Hey, I think you did a great job defusing that temper tantrum today." However, you're quick to get glares in the grocery store if it is your toddler to have the meltdown over a box of candy in the check out aisle.

Oh - brief confession - when it's your child, I enjoy it; it makes me feel better about my parenting. Sorry. You can feel the same way about me when my child has the meltdown. Deal?

The rewards from parenting do come forward though when you look at your children and think "Hey, I had some part in creating that awesome person." 

I think I am going to try to do that more.

 

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Charlie Dancing

Charlie decided to bust a groove at LaserQuest. Fortunately I had my camera handy.

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Why your child is right to cry at bedtime

Children crying at bedtime can be one of the more frustrating aspects of parenting, at least for me. A child who refuses to got to bed while mommy and daddy themselves are over tired is a recipe for an evening of grumpiness.

About six months ago I was putting my 2 year old to bed and said to him "It's ok, baby boy, it's just night time. You'll see us in the morning. There's nothing to cry about." 

Shortly thereafter I realized the huge lie that I had just told. We wouldn't see each other in the morning. A small child changes so much, even in a day, that the child that wakes up in the morning is no longer the same one that we put to bed.

I started thinking more about this and further concluded that by the age of 2 we really only have another 550-800 nights or so where he will want or need snuggles at bedtime. 

As adults, we see another night go by and wake up the next morning, never thinking of the change that has happened in our lives; how we have aged, how are children have aged. It's another day, just like yesterday. 

It made me wonder if our children are more in tune with the passing of time that we are. It made me wonder if the child who cries at night knows that they've just lost one more night of snuggles, and only have 549 left. Mommy, Daddy, why am I going to bed - we have so little time left.

Perhaps if we truly understood the passing of time and how little time we have with our babies, and how fast that time goes by, we would be the ones crying at bedtime.

I no longer say "It's OK" or "There's nothing to cry about" when I put my children to bed. That doesn't mean I'm not frustrated when they won't go down to sleep; we all need our mommy and daddy time. However, my frustration is mixed with empathy.

That empathy means I will sing one more song, give one more snuggle, sigh one more exasperated sigh because I know deep down he is right to be sad about bed time.

 

My daughter the artist

See and download the full gallery on posterous

I found these cool drawings today. The Manga blew my mind as she just started using a "how to draw" book.

Shortly thereafter I discovered her Fail series.

I think the dichotomy is amusing.

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Toddlers will truly argue anything. Charlie is HAPPY dangit!

Kate
Captured this shortly before nap time.

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Why #Movember for me.

As day 15 has come and gone, we're past the halfway point of Movember.

And some of us are probably wondering what we got ourselves into :) I thought it would be a good chance to reflect on why I got involved.

There is an element of team-work and fun, and let's admit it - playing with our facial hair style is one of those rare things us men get to do - usually reserved for vacation time. To have a full month to grow something a little different without being judged is a bit of a perk.

However, the real reason I decided to get involved is a simple stat. 1 in 6. One in 6 men will be affected by prostate cancer in their life time. The stat for Breast Cancer in women is 1 in 8. Fortunately the death rate for both diseases is lower, 1 in 35; both of these stats depend early detection for successful treatment.

I think men in general are less prone to discuss these types of issues - potentially due to the ways in which doctors check the health of the prostate (all men and most women reading this probably just winced). Women have done a fantastic job raising awareness, funds and research for breast cancer and have raised the profile of the importance of early detection.

As men, we are raised that the only time you go to the hospital is when you've lost enough blood to fall unconscious which will allow another person in the room to call 911. Most of us would rather take a bullet then to walk into the doctor and say "Hey Doc, I'm about do for a prostate check right?"

So that brings me to why I am participating. I started thinking about 1 in 6 in of the males in my life. For my family that includes my parents, wife and children, that means statistically one of us will be impacted. For my co-workers, statistically 2 of us will be impacted. For my extended family of Billsons, that means at least 3, maybe 4. Maybe more.

We have to do better for our children, our fathers, and ourselves.

That is why I am doing Movember. You can check out my progress below. And if I've inspired you to donate, my page is here: http://ca.movember.com/mospace/799294/

 

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Charlie Dancing

Download now or watch on posterous

p32.mov (2982 KB)

Charlie enjoys the drum band at Santa's parade. He also enjoyed Bobnoxious quite a bit.

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Charlie Dancing

Click here to download:

p32.mov (2982 KB)

Charlie enjoys the drum band at Santa's parade. He also enjoyed Bobnoxious quite a bit.

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Lessons learned for politicians Jimmy McMillan

Many people will make fun of Jimmy's campaign in the next few months. Lots of laughter and "wow this guy is crazy." I can't wait for AutoTune the News to do something with it. However, in the elevator this morning I was thinking: You know, I get Jimmy's campaign.

I know he thinks the rent is too damn high. I know he thinks that the rent being too high impacts the social living standards of people in his district. I know that he believes businesses could hire more people if they didn't pay so much for rent (word, Jimmy, word).

Clean, simple, understandable.

Contract this to "Vote for a change!" or "Your City / My City / Our City" - I don't get it. Stability. Accountability. "I won't raise taxes" (You have to raise taxes, it's called inflation. Look it up). The current slate of political candidates seem to speak political mumbo-jumbo rather than a clear, articulated vision.

I think it's the best political campaign I have ever heard as I fully understand what he is about, what his mission is, and where his accountability lays. Perhaps the fact that he is so articulate and definitive in a political realm is why people will think he's crazy?

Or it could be the "As a karate master I won't speak about anyone badly here" line.

I'm on the fence.

 

 

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Charlie's failed audition for Optimus Prime in Transformers

Charlie decided to try out. Unfortunately he thought it was a photo op instead of a reading.

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Interview with a Toddler

In this episode, Charlie gets asked what he ordered for dinner. He forgets to mention his french fries, and Anna helps him out by trying to circle the fries on his menu (with a crayon) so he knows what else to say.

 

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So the environmental message isn't working.

I figured for a kid in Me to We club that the whole environmental impact of forgetting her lunch bag would work. But apparently it didn't, because only 2 days later she forgot her re-usable lunch bag again. 

Now, let me explain briefly that her forgetting her lunch bag is a huge pain in the butt, as we only have enough re-usable containers to send each kid with their lunch and snacks - if there's a set missing, I have to hunt for odds and ends of tupperwear to put food in, and that kind of ticks me off.

Largely thanks to a suggestion by my friend Jason I decided to perhaps escalate to a more aggressive set of messaging than "hey kid, you're destroying the environment."

 

I figured I can also now keep a running score - so far she has forgotten it 4 times already this year!

Her response when she saw the lunch bag this morning was "aw man, does it have to be kittens?"

So maybe it is working. 

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Fun with Lunch Bags, Part 3.

So, my daughter forgot her re-usable, environmentally friendly lunch bag at school again. I once again used art to remind her of the environmental impact of her carelessness. Unlike last time (http://dbillson.posterous.com/i-am-not-a-normal-parent-heres-how-i-react-to) where I had a story and narrative, I went back to my roots as simple art that conveys a complex message.

On the first half of the bag, I show the planet earth vomiting in rage. I don't bother to define the rage, as I believe that the viewer of the art should supplant their own feelings and engage with the art itself, so I don't go out of my way to explain the piece.

Then I realized people may only see one side of the bag, so I decided to put another message on the opposite side; in this case it is a tree crying blood. Yes, I know trees have sap, not blood, and if a tree could cry it'd probably cry sap, or something, but it's art people. Deal. 

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Why I am happy my kids are in Karate

I remember about 2 or 3 years ago I conducted a job interview with a young adult who was just out of college. Typically interviews with recent grads are awkward, nervous affairs. I believe most recent grads would rather face a firing squad then their first rounds of job interviews. However, this candidate was different. He was confident, made great eye contact, and simply exuded confidence.

We hired him even though the position that was open was for a more intermmediate developer.

Through later discussions it became clear that his confidence came from his training as a brown belt in Karate. I was somewhat skeptical until today. Afterall, how can a full contact sport make you more confident in an interview room?

Today we had our local tournament for our Karate School called a Shiai. It is a great opportunity for people who do not normally compete on the tournament teams to have some fun and test their skills in a non threatening manner. The judges, observers, etc are all friends and parents from the school. 

However, it is still a fairly intense experience. I competed this year as an adult as well. We started our day early, and were ready to compete. Adults started first, and then Cole's division started shortly thereafter. 

 

 

The first competition I competed in was forms, or kata. I placed first in my division, which earned me a sword. Now, to be fair there were only 3 of us in the division but I wasn't complaining about the sword prize! The sword is a ninja sword, complete with cloth sheath. 

It did not take long for somebody to clue in that I needed the rest of the ninja outfit.  Noel and I went into the men's room to perfect the T-Shirt Ninja look. 

Second event for adults was sparring..... let's move on. 

Third event for adults was the Iron Man Challenge. You had to break 1, 2 or 3 boards, then drag a heavy bag, and finally do an agility drill (if you're familiar with windsprints, picture that). The first adult up was Noel, and he chose 3 boards and quite quickly dispatched them. Of course after that I had to go for 3 as well. I surprised myself just a little bit. I do feel a bit sorry for the poor pencils that were innocent bystanders. 

I was very impressed that a few parents from the audience came and participated - everyone that tried was able to break the 3 boards cleanly after a little bit of instruction. Next up? Ice perhaps a-la-karate kid part 2?

I placed 2nd overall with 2nd place in both the heavy bag-drag and agility test. I can see several prospective readers thinking AGILITY TEST? Yes, that's right. 

I missed most of Cole's competition because I was competing at the same time, but he did very well with his forms and sparring. Cole has been to 3 other Shiai's and new the drill - his competition pool was also very full, the older the kids go the less competition there is for them. 

Next up was Thomas and the little guy blew me away. Thomas is a kid who was diagnosed with gross motor delay and has struggled to keep up with his peers in physical learning. I have watched him in class or practice at home and he does pretty good. However, you put him out there in front of judges and an audience and he performs!

The same was true with Arthur and Haley. Haley is always good, but they both put on a little extra ritz for the judges and it paid off for them. The total tally of 6 firsts and 7 seconds across 17 events shows how hard our family came to compete. 

Now let me take you back to my job interview story.

Picture a 7 - 12 year old, standing up in front of a panel of 5 judges, 20-30 people looking cheering you on. The judges will then give you a score out of 10 - and they will be looking very closely at how you do your routine. Now picture that same child 10-15 years later on a job interview with one, maybe two people interviewing and asking questions.

I can picture the child in that scenario thinking "this is easy there's only two of them this time!"

Our Karate school's motto is "Life skills through karate" - at first it sounded a bit like marketing fluff - really? Life skills? Now I don't doubt it.

If you don't believe me, watch this, and tell me if you think this child is going to have confidence issues in the future:

"Life Skills" indeed. 

 

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I am not a normal parent: Here's how I react to someone forgetting a lunch bag.

My daughter forgot her lunch bag. Again.

So rather than lecture her or something like that, I decided to draw yet another, more elaborate comic. (I have done this before: )  However, this is the most elaborate.

"Hello. I am a beautiful life giving tree. What a lovely day!"

--

"Oh look, someone is coming to enjoy my shade!"

 

"I am sorry Mr. Tree, Haley needs a paper bag because she can't remember her REUSABLE lunch bag!"

--

"Why Haley??! Why? ... So.... cold...."

 

I have never confessed to be a normal parent. 

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Cool Idea: Billson Summer Photos

Kate had a cool idea for capturing our summer pictures in a slightly
different way. Watch.

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Charlie's new trick

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The Terrible Twos

Friends of mine are celebrating their two year old's birthday today. I posted a comment saying "Welcome to the Terrible Twos!"

And then I thought about it for a bit and realized the terrible two's are not actually that bad if you take them into context. Your baby boy or girl who has spent the first 2 years of life being an extension of their parents - they eat what the parents give them, move where the parents put them, think what the parents tell them "Oh look Charlie, isn't it so cute?"

Somewhere around 2 that light bulb goes off that says: Hey, wait. I can move where I want, I can think what I want, I can DO what I want. Much of the ensuing terrible twos result from the clash of what society [ read: parents ] expects from the new found two year old's desire to be master of his or her own domain.

In fact, it's a wonderful age of self discovery, learning, and battles of will to be sure - but treated with the right attitude it can be a very cool time for kids and parents a like.

As near as near as I can figure the fearsome fours are about the child coming to grips with the fact that their actions can have negative consequences - a fact that nobody really likes to be fair - so they spend the entire year WHINING about that - but that's a story for another time.

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Charlie and the Moon

Children can give you a lot of headaches.

They can also help you learn, grow, and see things in a new way. 

One of the most recent examples of this for me is The Moon. Charlie loves the moon. Every time he sees it he is excited by it and shouts out "Moooooooooooon!" or if he's feeling extra verbose "Woook it's da moooooooon!" Even random crescent shaped objects or white circles get labelled moon, and woe is anyone who tries to convince him differently ("No, Charlie, that's a croissant." "MOOON!") 

I am not sure why he likes it so much, perhaps because I used to point it out to him as a baby, perhaps because he likes how it sounds, or it could be it's just his thing. I don't really know how his minor obsession happened. 

What I do know is that I have a new appreciation for that big white globe hanging in the sky. It is something that we take for granted just like many of the other wonders that grace us in our day to day life. 

The other night I took him to the top of our hill so that he could see the full moon that was out there and I started thinking to myself "How wonderous it must be to see this for the first time?" I also realized I would never see the moon in the same way again, and I have to thank Charlie for that - I will always see "Charlie's Moon".

And that my friends is what children can do for you if you listen, watch and observe them - they'll show you the cool things on this earth that you've perhaps grown tired of or stopped noticing. 

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